Why can I get no headway as my own kingdom?

So I've played through the game a couple times picking different factions to join, this time I wanted to lead. I've been able to recruit other clan leaders to our side before by just having decent relations with that clan and not having their fiefs all gone or anything. I've amassed 500 man armies and beaten 1000+ armies on the battlefield with them. I'm no slouch when it comes to beating "unbeatable" odds and understand the game mechanics well enough to be able to have a 10-20 fief claim in my other games. With that being said... Why is it so hard to hold my own kingdom without losing all my money???? I made my own kingdom holding 3 settlements that are right next to each other. All have 500-600 defenders with 300+ man garrisons and militias. All stable with no governors and plenty of food and prosperity. Yet when I use my clan members to build a no influence cost army of 600 I just can't keep up with the amount of people declaring war on my and taking turns sieging my shit. Currently I hold bout 20 of the Northern empire's nobles and clan members in my dungeon and like 2000 of their troops. Beaten them 3 times with armies half their size (once while defending a siege and twice in the field). And yet they expect me to pay them 2000 denars a day still. Meanwhile I have over 70 relation with one of their clan leaders and he won't even give me the time of day to join my side along with paying out like 15000 denars a day to the aserai, the sturgians, and the vlandians. Not to mention I'm fighting the Southern empire as well. How am I supposed to get ahead in this game as my own kingdom? Am I just supposed to turtle while they attack my city while bleeding money and watching my people starve? Either I lose all my money paying out everyone else so they don't kick the shit out of me while I fight 2 other opponents or I lose my men constantly fighting in hopes that they will pay me after its all done (while also losing all my money depending on how long it lasts.) I saved up 1.5 million denars before I even started my kingdom so I knew that I could handle losing some for a bit while I fought off 1 or 2 groups and paying the other 1 or 2 but as it stands right now, the Khuzaits are the only ones who haven't decided to come mess with me yet. I'm hemorrhaging money and troops left and right to the point I can't keep up with any of it, just losing even though I'm winning fights. How do I fix this? Any tips on what to do to either bring in another clan to my side to help or how do i solo the map?

Submitted December 14, 2022 at 10:05PM by ultimawapon https://ift.tt/9mtqcHY