True Stories of Flustered Royalty - Quick Reflections

King Derthert: strolling through the latest addition to his "Towns Abroad" project.

Random Retainer: You're most correct as always Sire! This truly is the definition of filth!

Derthert: Now now. I said it might be a wee bit dirty. No need to be so demeaning to these poor people. Sturgians simply have never known a civilized life after all. To be expected. Indeed. In good time though. They will learn to see the wonders of proper civilization and thank us most handsomely in due time.

Random Retainer: OH! Yes! Apoooologies Sire! Woe is me to have misquoted such eloquent words!

Random Retainer: begins sifting through his satchel for a flogger to punish himself with

Derthert: Egads man! Enough with that! And don't you dare pull out that flogger again! You had that poor woman and her child in tears! I... swore they'd be frighted you'd turn on them. But they just kept screaming "What is even going on! WHAT IS EVEN GOING ON!?"... All seemed rather clear to me. But my dear fellow. You really shouldn't be so hard on yourself. All is well.

Random Retainer: eyes aglow with awe Milord! Such wonderous mercy exudes from your divine presence! I dare not look upon my Lord as I fear I shan't ever see the beauties of the world for being struck blind by such splendor! starts weeping

Derthert: ahem... right. Oh guard?

quick step shuffling of feet approach

Guard: Yes Milord.

Derthert: Ah, just who I needed. Um. I do believe I've had enough of this self worth coach for today. I completely forgot. I actually don't like him at all.

Random Retainer: I don't like me much either Sire! Not that my opinion lends the tiniest grain of sand in weight to the vast mountain of import as comes from thine brilliant brow!

Derthert: presses his lips together in guarded frustration

Derthert: Yes... Lovely.

Derthert: side eyes the guard with a flick of his brow Mmm? If you please.

Guard: grabs the retainer by the back of his shirt Alright Fancy Lips! Let's be off before you lose more than ye presence eh?

Derthert: Right... Now where was I?

off in the distance a town crier is calls out...

Town Crier: Andrasa of the northern Empire has been taken prisoner by the Looters!

Derthert: snickers...

Derthert: quickly see's the insensitivity to his amusement and realizes that could be himself if not careful

Derthert: balls...

submitted by /u/Jackelmyer
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