A tale of loss, revenge, and consequences

Peace to you, Calradians! Today, I wish to share a story about my little sister, Alya. I’m sure you’re all familiar with this part of the story. After the tragedy that was her parent’s death at the hands of the rogue Radagos and his band of raiders, her and her brother are thrown into captivity, only to be freed by their much older siblings.

Eventually, Alya grows up! She’s learned much throughout her short but harsh life, and is determined to take those lessons to become one of the most accomplished doctors on the continent.

She joins my warband, patching up the troops wherever we went, an elite kill-squad of Master archers from the desert region of Aserai. We crushed bandit lords wherever we tread, we repelled false claimants to our Aserai ancestral land from the scheming Western Empire, and through our efforts, we were offered Tubilis Castle.

Now, let me tell you of the Imperial dog pig-fucker that shot Alya in the goddamn face!

Meet Archon Saratis, the dandy looking frumpkin and his hobbit sidekick, Eronyx. These scheming bastards decide to siege my castle while I’m trying to make sweet love to my wife Arwa. Then a rock comes flying through my damn window! I pick up my bow, join the defenders at the wall, and start giving them hell.

Our defense was strong, but not enough. I told my sister to run, and she did. But I must’ve overestimated her intelligence, cause the little twerp got caught on a flight of stairs. I could do nothing but watch as a lone palatine guard drew his bow, and pierced her neck. Silencing Alya forever, she was nineteen.

I was almost immediately freed by my father in law, Adram. Whom pounced on the weakened defenders mere moments later, but the damage was already done, and I wanted revenge.

First up was Eronyx, this dwarf personalIy captured me, my brother, his wife, and my wife, so his contributions were palpable. I rolled up to Adram and was like, “Hey pops in law, I’ll pay you the price of a Nawashi for the short one over there.” Once that transaction was done, I made Eronyx miraculously shorter on the coasts of the Aserai Desert.

Emperor Dick and army commander Saratis was a little more tricky. He was thrown into a Quyaz cell so I couldn’t touch him, and the Aserai had failed me dearly, so I broke my oath to Unqid and prepared an army for the rat to crawl out of his hole.

A month later, we meet again in Danustica, where he was participating in a tournament. I eliminated him personally, and whispered into his ear.. “get fucked.” As he left the city, broken in shame, I descended upon him with the full might of Clan Denu Yakshi. The battle was intense, but our superior bowmen and cavalry brought Saratis to his knees.

I approached him, axe in hand, and proclaimed, “this is for Alya.” Then it was over.

I’m now a wanted fugitive of the Western Empire, an unwelcome criminal element that must be purged from Garios’ sight. If this letter is found underneath Butterchurner Mildred’s floorboard, know that the Legionaries found me and broke my legs. I could use a rescue and some fresh hog back at base camp.

Anyway, that’s how I got the Best Served Cold achievement.

submitted by /u/Muntsly
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