MB2: Banditlord

>be me

>malnourished, inbred peasant farmer with leprosy

>spend most days tending to my crops

>one day a lord comes and razes my village

>can't even remember who we're supposed to be fighting because the king starts a new war every other week

>barely escape in to the nearby forest

>decide to become a looter

>arm muscles instantly quadruple in size

>able to throw 200mph fastball rocks

>gain the eye-hand coordination of Ares himself

>some wannabe manhunter and his imperial recruits try to apprehend me

>easily dispatch his men and horse from 300 metres out some pebbles

>parry his battleaxe swing with my butter knife

>kill him and take his gear

>decide to become a full time bandit

>set up a hideout in the mountains with some other guys, constantly rob 30 men caravans passing by

>the local lord eventually decides hes had enough of my shit

>ambushes us at night

>only brings a handful of troops despite having twice our numbers

>his knights didn't even bring their horses

>manages to kill most of my men

>corners the remainder of us

>oh god oh fuck this is the end

>panic and ask him to duel me one on one

>this idiot actually accepts lmao

>bury my axe in his skull before he can finish his sentence

>his loyal and well trained army immediately turns around and leaves despite still outnumbering us

>a few months later

>decide to visit a nearby village to brutalise the elder and steal his daughter

>only ask 2 of my men to accompany since this should be quick

>accidentally stumble upon an army

>its lead by the legendary general, Garios himself

>he sends his 1200 men to fight instead of leading them himself

>with my dying breath, I manage to single-handedly kill 30 legionaries, 50 palatine guards and 90 elite cataphracts while wounding 300 others

mfw

Submitted April 28, 2020 at 06:35AM by Woajak https://ift.tt/3aPe9bz