submitted by /u/Brackishnight [link] [comments]
>> Be Swadian
>> Live in poor, shitty village
>> Have whole livelihood stolen by Nords every month
>> Son trains whole life to be a knight and gets headshot in his first battle by inbred rhodok who picked up a crossbow for the first time last week
>> Wife kidnapped by Harlaus's men to have her milk repurposed for butter production
>> Village lord changes every week because Dhirim keeps getting conquered
>> Eventually be ruled by Count Haringoth
>> He has you beheaded for having Lady Vera in your peripheral vision
>> Be Nord
>> IQ of 40
>> Too stupid to shoot arrows straight
>> Too stupid to ride horse
>> Live in middle of buttfuck nowhere
>> Can't grow crops on shitty land
>> Die of starvation
>> Corpse looted by sea raiders
>> Be Vaegir
>> Spend 90% of measly income on firewood so you don't freeze to death
>> Children killed by sea raiders
>> Food stolen by sea raiders
>> Wife fucked by sea raiders
>> Finally get accepted into army
>> Get killed by an arrow in the first 30 seconds of battle because Boyar Crahask told you shields were for pussies
>> Be Rhodok
>> Born with several birth defects due to inbreeding
>> Too lazy/stupid to use bow
>> Have to walk up 14 mountains to buy food from nearest markets
>> Party of 146 mountain bandits follow you
>> Can't outrun them due to 0 cavalry and couch potato athletics skill
>> Captured and sold as sex slave to Sultan Hakim
>> Be Sarranid
>> Bake daily in derelict desert hovel
>> Emir Atis forces you to wear massive turban and coat anyway
>> Die of heat exposure
>> Emir Atis shits on your unmarked grave
>> Be Khergit
>> Die of horse AIDS
Submitted March 13, 2020 at 05:58AM by Acetrainer333 https://ift.tt/2TLZnwZ
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