My friends like greentext storytelling but don't understand my love for Mount and Blade, so I wrote up my last campaign to help them understand.

> be me

> be playing Mount and Blade: With Fire and Sword, a napoleonic-era expansion to the wildly popular Mount and Blade: Warband

> serving the Kingdom of Sweden as a vassal of King Carl Gustaf

> I am Waen, an optimistic, wealthy young noble

> I recruit men from the villages and fight off looters and deserters from helpless caravans

> rival noble from Crimea, Uzyn-bey, appears and challenges me

> oh fuck

> he has 150 men, I have 20 untrained villagers

> I equip my bow and my secret weapon: explosive arrows

 

> on the battlefield, I make my men hide behind a hill so they don’t have to see what happens

> ride alone towards Crimean army

> they have their cavalry arranged on a hilltop, armor gleaming, pikemen lined up behind them

> cavalry charges me, Uzyn-bey in the lead

> my first arrow lands behind him, killing six of his men

> horses scream in agony and fear as another explosive round lands in their midst

> noble is thrown from his horse and knocked unconscious

> as more rounds begin to land among his pikemen, they break and flee the battlefield

> my men celebrate as the routed enemy surrenders

> I let the nobleman go to fight another day

 

> be me, playing Mount and Blade again

> now I have a castle and a village

> I spoil them at every turn, I hire priests and watchmen to keep my people safe

> build fortifications and schools to enrich their lives

> one day I see a fellow Swedish noble, Baron Christopher Bjolke attacking a Cossack caravan

> mostly merchants and civilians, but the Baron rushes in and kills every last one of them

> am powerless to stop him without offending my King

 

> later, I take a castle nearby castle for my King

> I can’t protect my men here the way I can on the battlefield

> Lose some of my men in the assault

> Fathers, brothers, friends who joined us after being rescued from brigands - gone

> All gone to bring a castle into our protective embrace, to improve the lives of its citizens

> King Gustaf sends a messenger

> After much deliberation he has awarded the castle to Baron Bjolke

> I have seen Bjolke’s village, it is in ruins after he let a rival army raid it while he was off campaigning

> I cannot let this happen to even more people

> I cannot sacrifice my men so that pigs may reign

> I rebel against my king

> King Gustaf, once my master, now announces that he will kill me and my people for disobeying him

 

> life is hard as the Swedish rebels but we persist

> my investments in my people make me a very wealthy man, and they are grateful for the protection

> I can afford the finest soldiers in the land

> I equip myself with a black thoroughbred stallion, black plate armor and a full quiver of explosive arrows

> each battle, I make my men hide as I obliterate the enemy

> I try to kill only enough to make the rest flee, but the losses are still tremendous

> we slowly take castles and settlements from Sweden, my arrows leaping over the parapets and turrets to clear the way for my men

> each new castle and settlement receives resources and services, lifting many out of poverty

> As our new kingdom grows my army must be tireless and swift to defend our settlements from Swedish raids

 

> My hair has started to grey and my thoroughbred is lame, but we still defend our people

> I have pushed the Swedes back and they are finally on the cusp of defeat

> I face King Carl Gustaf and his remaining nobles in battle

> 110 of my men vs 950 of theirs

> I arrange my men on a hilltop so that they can finally see what their master must do

> They need to understand the price of our freedom

> I rain fire down on my former countrymen, killing man and animal alike

> Wave after wave disappear in clouds of smoke, dirt and blood

> Charred corpses cover the battlefield

> Gustaf’s army breaks and scatters, his last vassals have fallen

> King Gustaf surrenders

> “After many battles, you have bested me - but at what cost?”

> He is old, like I have become

> “I surrender to you, Waen the Bruce”

 

> I am now King of Sweden, Waen the Bruce

> I have wielded terrible power and killed 10,000 men, but we have peace

> I am not the King they deserve, but the one that they needed

> I

> am

> Batman

Submitted September 25, 2019 at 03:13PM by Conspicuous_Urn https://ift.tt/2mOoIIY