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What should I do here?

I’m a vasal with the Khuzaits and I feel like the AI is not doing me any favors. We were at war with Sturgia and the Aserai at the same time which was a nightmare because everyone was running north and south. Not at war with Sturgia anymore but as soon as we made peace with them Monchug went and declared war with the western empire. I have 15 fiefs and they all border the western empire. So while every place I own is getting attacked Monchug and all the other assholes have been fighting over Shibal Zumr Castle. One side takes it and back and forth so most of the army is over there. And I’m in the same situation over at Onica castle. I own it but they take it and then I take it back. No one is getting anywhere. I want to go on the offensive and take Zeonica but I just don’t have enough people and I don’t think I can get anymore. Any tips for this stalemate? And where do all their troops keep coming from? They keep coming with 1100 troop armies and I keep destroying them, shouldn’t the...

Why are my children like this

I'm in my first Bannerlord playthrough, though I've played a lot of Civ and Total War so most of the mechanics make some kind of sense. But I just had my 6th child with my wife, and was THANKFUL that the kiddo had no traits on birth. Why? Because other than one of my children having the "Compassionate" (Mercy 2) trait, ALL of the other traits are negative. My faction leader started with "daring" and at some point got "honest". Wife has "honest" and "calculating". So how do our offspring end up with "sadistic", "deceitful", "hotheaded"? Most of the negative traits are tier 2 and not tier 1 too. Actually I just checked and one of my kids is also "calculating" along with sadistic. Which sounds even worse?

I just wish that either parent's traits or some kind of "child rearing" options your character could choose would have more of an impact than - IDK, genetics? Because apparently my infant children are already tiny versions of Hannibal Lecter and Ramsay Bolton. I'm mostly just venting, but is there any way to change these traits for the better other than from a quest which only seems to happen rarely? I've never tried save scumming for traits either and I don't know if it's possible.

submitted by /u/osiris0413
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