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What should I do here?

I’m a vasal with the Khuzaits and I feel like the AI is not doing me any favors. We were at war with Sturgia and the Aserai at the same time which was a nightmare because everyone was running north and south. Not at war with Sturgia anymore but as soon as we made peace with them Monchug went and declared war with the western empire. I have 15 fiefs and they all border the western empire. So while every place I own is getting attacked Monchug and all the other assholes have been fighting over Shibal Zumr Castle. One side takes it and back and forth so most of the army is over there. And I’m in the same situation over at Onica castle. I own it but they take it and then I take it back. No one is getting anywhere. I want to go on the offensive and take Zeonica but I just don’t have enough people and I don’t think I can get anymore. Any tips for this stalemate? And where do all their troops keep coming from? They keep coming with 1100 troop armies and I keep destroying them, shouldn’t the...

Official Khergit reply to Sultan Hakim's threat of war. (NSFW for humorous vulgarity)

Khergit warlords to the Sultan Hakim!

O sultan, Sarranid devil and damned devil's kith and kin, secretary to Lucifer himself. What the devil kind of knight are thou, that canst not slay a hedgehog with your naked arse? The devil shits, and your army eats. Thou shalt not, thou son of a whore, make subjects of Khergit sons; we have no fear of your army, by land and by sea we will battle with thee, fuck thy mother.

Thou Durquba scullion, Sharizian wheelwright, brewer of Bariyye, goat-fucker of Ahemerrad, swineherd of Swadia, pig of Nords, Rivacheg thief, catamite of Veluca, hangman of Jamiche, and fool of all the world and underworld, an idiot before God, grandson of the Serpent, and the crick in our dick. Pig's snout, mare's arse, slaughterhouse cur, unchristened brow, screw thine own mother!

So the Khergits declare, you lowlife. You won't even be herding pigs for the Rhodoks. Now we'll conclude, for we don't know the date and don't own a calendar; the moon's in the sky, the year with the (Horse) Lord, the day's the same over here as it is over there; for this kiss our arse!

source : Reply of the Zaporozhian Cossacks



Submitted October 18, 2018 at 08:23PM by KireOtic https://ift.tt/2ErHQoi

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