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What should I do here?

I’m a vasal with the Khuzaits and I feel like the AI is not doing me any favors. We were at war with Sturgia and the Aserai at the same time which was a nightmare because everyone was running north and south. Not at war with Sturgia anymore but as soon as we made peace with them Monchug went and declared war with the western empire. I have 15 fiefs and they all border the western empire. So while every place I own is getting attacked Monchug and all the other assholes have been fighting over Shibal Zumr Castle. One side takes it and back and forth so most of the army is over there. And I’m in the same situation over at Onica castle. I own it but they take it and then I take it back. No one is getting anywhere. I want to go on the offensive and take Zeonica but I just don’t have enough people and I don’t think I can get anymore. Any tips for this stalemate? And where do all their troops keep coming from? They keep coming with 1100 troop armies and I keep destroying them, shouldn’t the...
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I lost the will playing the game.

Im a mount and blade veteran so im pretty confident with my playtroughs,the last time i played bannerlord was March April this year,last week i got hella excited when i saw bannerlord by accident. Created my character and went to conquer Calradia,short story short got my lvl 30 character full family +8 companions all geared up 2 mill in the bank.Got myself 3 towns and 3 castle and because i wasnt declared as a kingdom no one atacked me,when i did that it was chaos in 2 full days everyone decleared war on me and no ammount of money could save me 9000 to 12000 plus tribute from everyone.Tried to recruit lords but no matter how good youre relations are they ask for ridiculous ammounts,i just got disheartened and wasnt seeing a way pass that.I dont know if its recent patches or something but before wasnt like this,any advice?

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