True Stories of Flustered Royalty - Servic?

"And all the lords and ladies gathered to discuss what was to come next in the great kingdom of Whatever..."

Carfyd: Shh shh I'm gonna ask him.

Godun: GO! DO EEET!

Eronys: You got this man!

Carfyd: *coughs*

Carfyd: So... Sire... We were thinking...

Garios: One moment Carfyd.

Garios: Where was I? ... ... Oh right... *ahem* Epicrotea is absolutely critical to our campaign. And furthermore, if you run off and pillage one more village that I desperately need to recruit troops from, I swear on all the power of this land... I will snip you myself and end your line for good Lamenon!

Random Retainer: *muffled whispers and a snicker*

Garios: Yes I know... He does have a rather silly name. *snickers*

Garios: Right. What can I do for you Carfyd.

Carfyd: Well Sire. The fellas and I were thinking...

Veronet: And gals!

Carfyd: Right. My apologies... Us fells and gal...

Veronet: Thank you.

Carfyd: Of course...

Garios: *shifts uncomfortably annoyed*

Carfyd: Us fellas and gal were thinking... ... ... ...

Everyone: *a long... awkward... pronounced... silence...*

Garios: ... Yee... Yes? *nervously asked*

Carfyd: Right. We was think'n... What if. What IF! *throwing his hands in the air* WESTERN EMPIRE!

Garios: *blinks* What?

Carfyd: *shifting his eyes back and forth to the rest of the lords and lady..*

Carfyd: *throws out his arms again, in yet a bigger display*

Carfyd: WESTERN! eeEEMPIIIIIIIRE! *jaz hands*

Garios: *coughs* Right. Look here. You do realize we're at war with Vlandia, Battania, and the entire Khuzait horde... yes? With the Northern Empire eyeing Epicrotea before we can reach it.

Carfyd: Well. Yes... Yes we do realize we might. We coooould be, at said time... Just may be a teeeeeny tiny itsy bitsy bit busy.

Pryndor: A smidge.

Carfyd: Yes, a smidge.

Garios: *grips his chair slightly harder*

Garios: A smidge?

Carfyd: Ah good. We're in agreement.

Garios: No that's not what I...

Carfyd: I mean Sire... ALL the fellas really think this is a great idea!

Veronet: And gals!

Carfyd: Right. My apologies... Us fells and gal...

Veronet: Thank you.

Carfyd: Of course...

Garios: *slowly claws down his beard straining at patience*

Carfyd: Don't you guys! Oh! And Gal! *smiling at himself proudly for remembering inclusivity*

Veronet: Thank You.

Enronys, Atilon, Camnon, Ospir, Pryndor, Sein in chorus: Oh yeah! Yes sir! Absolutely Sire! Wonderful idea! Best thing since sliced bread! What's sliced bread!? Tuna Sandwich is the best idea! You're gross! Now I'm hungry!

Gyphor: Mhm.

Godun: OOOOOH YeeeeEEEAH! WOOOOOO! YEEEEEEEEEEEAH! GET! THEM! GOOOOOOD! WOOOOOOO!

Servic: So... some... Someone ate my danish. *fidgets nervously looking at the ground*

Urik: *looks at Servic and spaces out, lost in thought*

The Hall Room: *whispers a slow breeze of silence...*

Garios: *sweat dripping down from his temple as his voice begins to waver in anger*

Enryonys: Way to show enthusiasm Gyphor! *rolling his eyes*

Gyhpor: I was out at the tavern till 5:00am doing things I dare not speak of in such a respectable Hall.

Enryonys: I'm telling you, the clap's gonna get'cha.

Gyphor: You can shove your clap right up your...

Garios: Who... Ate... Servic's... DANISH!?! This is the 4th time this WEEK!

Veronet: *gasps, looks around quickly, and disappears from the room*

Everyone else: *nervously shifts eyes back and forth between each other*

Urik: *staring at Servic* is... hm... Sire? Isn't Servic a part of the female genitalia?

Everyone: *turns their gaze with a range of differing looks upon Urik*

Urik: *holds his chin peering at the ground still lost in thought*

Garios: What is even happening here? *now completely lost to the situation*

Servic: We just all agreed to go to war with the Western Empire. Thanks Milord!

Garios: *whispers to his retainer* I hate them all...

The Lords and Lady (down the hall): TO WAR!

submitted by /u/Jackelmyer
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