True Stories of Flustered Royalty - We've Got Them Now!

Another eve in the halls of Rhotae, the Lords and Lady gather for a feast celebrating yet another successful push back into the Khuzait hordes realm. They've gathered this eve to share tales, woes, laughter, and tears for their lost brothers and sisters. They sit closely gathered at banquet tables, all but two. Carfyd and Veronet who sit slightly off... Together.

King: Robustly stands and raises a goblet to his lords and lady.

King: With all we've been through good fellows and lady, I commend you all! Through the sacrifice, anguish, the blood, sweat, tears, and profanity...

Entire Hall: looks at Gyphor and a chorus of laughter ensues

Gyphor: OH BLOODY HELL! winces balls...

Gyphor: mutters under his breath

Servic: Oy I erd that! 2 denar into the jar good Sir!

Entire Hall: Laughs louder

Gyphor: Oy! You can take that bloody jar and shove it right up your...

King: RIGHT! Right... And to conclude, I wanted to thank all of you, each and every one of you for your valliant hard work. Without the might of all of us in this realm, such a peaceful future for those to come after us, might never be known. To you good Sir's and Lady! WELL DONE!

Entire Hall: HORAAAAAAH! WELL DONE! WOOOOO!

Servic: Yippy! clap clap

Urik: peers at Servic

Servic: DON'T!

Urik: startles and puts his face back down into his plate.

King: That last battle indeed should have put those infernal Khuzait in a real pickle. H... How many of their generals did we capture again?

Servic: Twenty Seven in all Milord! A most astounding number. Truly they must be wondering who's going to keep all their horses in order!

Entire Hall: BAAAAHAHAHAHAHA

Pryndor: I can jus see it now! Monchug a holler'n at all of dem and horses run'n a wild!

Pryndor: mimicking a terrified retainer But Milord! All our leaders av gone an been looked up! We've no one to tell us what to do with their beasts!

King: wiping away a tear full of laughter

King: Yes indeed! Haha! Good show! Now. We simply keep them all well put away and good riddance once and for all Khuzait! HORRAH!

Entire Hall: quiets down notably

Lamenon: Well, except for the two I captured Milord.

King: What?

Lamenon: continues speaking unconcerned But that shouldn't be a problem a'tall. Still more than enough of those ruffians put away! Haha!

King: Well I suppose...

Carfyd: Right, my three as well.

King: Excuse me?

Carfyd: What? Oy've got 12 children to put through battle school! Ish not gonna be CHEAP!

King: Well, they'll certainly be weaker than...

Enronys: Absolutely my good fellow Carfyd. I do indeed understand your predicament. In the same... chamber pot myself, if I do say so. Had to ransom the 5 I acquired. Will make for a most helpful addition to the children's educational fund.

King: No.

Sein: I just didn't like mine.

King: Beg your pardon?!

Sein: Ad his head taken clean off I did.

Entire Hall: LARGE GASP

Sein: Wut?

King: DID ANYONE retain their captives at ALL!?

Atilon, Camnon, Ospir, Urik, Pryndor, Veronet in disconcerting chorus: Well you see... I needed new knickers! I've medical bills! My battle school debt!

Gyphor: The bar wenches eyes glazing over with a half cocked smile

Godun: Oy've got mine.

King: YOU HAVE?!?!

Godun: Aye. Makes a darn world of good as a rear end cleaner after a long visit to the John. That man can lick a cast iron pot back to new e can.

Entire Hall: Wide eyed silence...

Entire Hall: For a moment... Then some nods of understanding and a few "Why didn't I think of that"

Gyphor: WUT!?! I say a few hundred foul words and ewe all throw jars at ma head! But Godun's got a back side washer, with'em's tongue and you all nod in agreement? To hell with all of ye!

King: staring at disbelief to his entire hall...

King: Balls.

submitted by /u/Jackelmyer
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