Skip to main content

All shall kneel!

Cheat less console play-through, got very lucky with all three kings joining another kingdom after the destruction of their own. Didn’t have to save scum much just had to chase them all down to the edge of the map 🫩😭 submitted by /u/samuraiweebs [link] [comments]

Happy Feastmas to all you vassals, looters and peasants!

‘Twas the night before Feastmas, when all through the place

Not a vassal was stirring, not even Count Plais;

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

In hopes that Santa Clais soon would be there;

The boyars were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of Dhirim danced in their heads;

And Graveth in his ’kerchief, and I in my cap,

Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,

When out in the courtyard there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a Nord,

Tore open the shutters and looked for my lord.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow

Gave the sheen of butter to objects below,

When, what should appear to boggle my mind,

But a mini red sleigh, with eight coursers in line.

With a little old driver, brandishing a mace,

I knew in a moment it must be Santa Clais.

More rapid than Khergits his coursers they came,

And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;

“Now, Deglan! now, Delinard! now, Klargus and Beranz!

On, Regas! on, Meltor! on, Stamar and Grainwad!

To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!

Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”

As looters that before the manhunters fly,

When they their doom coming, flee, run and hide;

So up to the house-top the coursers they flew,

With the sleigh full of butter, and Santa Clais too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof

The prancing and pawing of each vassal’s boot.

As I drew in my head, and was turning around,

Down the chimney Santa Clais came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,

And his clothes were all tarnished with butter and soot;

A bundle of weapons he had flung on his back,

And he looked like a vendor just opening his pack.

His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!

His cheeks, though, were bloody, red like a cherry!

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow

And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,

Stolen from a peasant he sadly did meet;

He had a broad face and a fat round belly,

That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old Swad,

And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of the lard;

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,

Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,

And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,

And laying his finger aside of his nose,

And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose;

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,

And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,

But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,

“Happy Feastmas to all, and to all a good-night.”



Submitted December 24, 2017 at 06:35PM by Zippollini http://ift.tt/2DHYLi7

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Dickplomacy Reloaded 1.30, now with prostitution! (and tons of bug fixes, and the floris banking system.)

Full change list: Troop recruitment presentation by MitchPTI Ability for female player to prostitute themselves by IntelligencePending Dancers in feasts by IntelligencePending Modification to pre-sex scene by IntelligencePending Compile bug fixes by IntelligencePending Consolidation of camp settings menu by IntelligencePending Camera bug fix by IntelligencePending Moved shipyard to bottom of town list (Contrib by IntelligencePending) Mouse mode death cam default by IntelligencePending Slows down movement during scenes by IntelligencePending Updated background for gambling by IntelligencePending Join any side of a battle by NaglFaar Zaitenko's Reinforcement Script by Zaitenko Door bug fix by IntelligencePending Disguise bug fix by IntelligencePending Can force companion to stay without cheat mode by LilyModzStuff Import/Export NPCs by IntelligencePending Shield bash and decapitation, AI kicking by Ramaraunt, Xenoargh, Papa Lazarou, Theoris, Zarthas, Thick1988, and...

Optimal weapons in Smithing (Forging): a second, deeper (?), look - Blades/Heads + Guards/Banners and Accessories. Bit of a letdown

Hello everyone.It’s been one month since part 1 was released (This one https://www.reddit.com/r/Bannerlord/comments/12yqhq5/optimal_weapons_in_smithing_forging_a_first_look/ ).I’m here posting again to go forwards in the established direction from part 1.There will be a TL;DR section at the end. A little recap is in order: last time we crafted every single possible weapon in Bannerlord, but ignoring guards, pommels, grips, accessories (From now on, "Parts 2/3/4")... and only switched between different blades/heads ("Parts 1"), which I expected to determine the overall worth of the item much more than the other parts (This proved to be the case, according to today's data).Furthermore, there were no changes in size at all, so all components were crafted only in standard size. Again, I've updated the Google drive folder I've been using up until now. It contains a series of screenshots detailing the weapon's name (Which in turn is a combination of the...

Help with the Subreddit's new Guide! Guide is in the Description and Link in the Comments⬇️

So I got the go-ahead to write a guide for the Mods to post and pin on top of the sub and while my 3000+ hours of Bannerlord and wide experience with speedrunning this quest covers a lot, I am sure that I might have missed some neat tips and tricks. Please also tell if there if something that needs closer clarification with more text or an image. The Bannerlord's Guide to Unite the Empire Written by Octavian_Exumbra So you want to unite the Calradian Empire? Well, my child, this is no simple matter. Many great rulers have attempted to Unite the quarrelling descendants of Calradios the Great under one cause and most have failed, so steel yourself great warrior for today you... I'm just messing with you. It's actually a fairly simple process, so let's just dive right into it. New Campaign: Starting off, we're picking Empire culture. When it comes to skills, you have more liberty, but if we want to do this as effectively as possible then we're mainly focusi...