I can't win

I have been playing as my own faction for at least 15 years of in game time. For most of that time I have been at war with the Northern Empire who constantly attack me. Even if I sign a truce, they just attack me the next week anyway.

I try to stay at war with them to grind them down by attrition, but it never works. They always just recruit more men and more armies. And no matter how many lords I capture it doesn't seem to make a dent in their numbers.

I can beat them whereever my main army is. The problem is, I can't be in two places at once. If I go east, they go west. If I go west, they go east. If I disband my army and let the AI do its thing, they get decimated. I have been waiting for ages (like years of in game time) for the Vlandians or the SE to attack the Northern Empire. But the Vlandians have only attacked them once, and the SE has *never* attacked them. Nor the NE attacked the SE.

I have no clue how to win this. Honestly I'm beginning to feel like this game is just unwinnable. You can kill literally 100k opponents and they don't stop coming. There isn't any strategy I can think of that would actually allow me to take a victory, and I've thought of a fair few by now, none have worked.

Pictures for context:

https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/2075638388868701734/6751CF31A52B5A6F167B28F4F0DECEC3DEEA5646/?imw=5000&imh=5000&ima=fit&impolicy=Letterbox&imcolor=%23000000&letterbox=false

https://steamuserimages-a.akamaihd.net/ugc/2075638388868702081/ECF04410D8C9DE055CE01EC95038C7FF8BDC2FF4/?imw=5000&imh=5000&ima=fit&impolicy=Letterbox&imcolor=%23000000&letterbox=false

submitted by /u/DefinitelyFrenchGuy
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